Simple answer – no. In my opinion anyway. And here’s why.
I once had a lovely boyfriend called John. We were best buddies, had a great time together, enjoyed the same things, loved nothing more than a sweaty session in a club on a Friday night and a good feed of bacon and eggs on a Saturday morning. What we didn’t have was sex. Oh we did in the beginning, as most new couples do, but pretty quickly it began to dawn on me that I just didn’t fancy the dude. There was no spark, no fizz. I never looked at him and thought to myself, I really wish we weren’t sitting here having dinner with your parents because I want you to tear my clothes from my body and fuck me senseless. Most of the time I looked at him and thought ‘Ah bless, my buddy. Love ya. I just have no interest in sex with you. At all.’
Thing was, I really did love the guy and the thought of leaving him was a total heartbreaker. So we just kind of ignored the fact that we weren’t keeping the neighbours awake on a regular basis and got on with our lives. But here’s the thing about a sexless relationship – it’s not good for either of you. It starts to eat away at your confidence, you lose your mojo and after a while you start to wonder if you’ll ever feel horny again. Like, ever! It got to the stage where I had completely forgotten what it felt like to desire somebody, to want every inch of them and to enjoy exploring every inch of them. I would see my friends staring at their boyfriends with blatant lust in their eyes and feel a) incredibly sad and b) incredibly jealous. I wanted to feel that with John. But you can’t fake lust now can you? No, you can’t.
After three and a half fun filled but not sex filled years John and I decided to call it a day. It wasn’t fair on either of us and was actually doing both of us a lot of damage I think. I’m sure we probably could have continued on for another few years, maybe even got married and just resigned ourselves to the fact that that’s how our relationship was. Thank God we saw sense.
Sex is a crucial element of any relationship. It’s a way of connecting with your partner on the deepest possible level. It’s good for your stress levels, it boosts your immune system, and it’s good dirty fun. If it wasn’t important we’d all end up marrying our friends and spending a fortune on sex toys. Isn’t it a much better idea to marry someone you can’t get enough of sexually and spend a fortune on sex toys anyway?
My advice to anyone in a sexless relationship would be to end it. You both deserve so much more and by staying together you’re denying yourselves the opportunity to meet that someone who just blows your mind (and whatever else) sexually. He/she is out there and you owe it to yourself to find him/her.
May the gods of lust be with you 😉