Anna’s Tales: Working Out the Kinks

I learn a lot from my clients. One such nugget is how to find people online to have kinky sex with — for free! I don’t care what the politicians say, the economy is still in the crapper and it’s time to get creative. For some, this means heavy-duty coupon clipping. For others, it means posting an ad on adultfriendfinder.com and taking your chances. I’m not necessarily advocating this practice, merely passing along the experiences of another. Because, well, you can’t make this shit up.

Fifty-something Jerry the client didn’t just like it often, he liked to be dominated, having a particular thing for older women. WAY older women. Jerry shared a thing or two about his upbringing, which he happened to think was “neato,” and yet caused me to subsequently block his number from my phone. Those who think that Jerry needed a therapist wouldn’t be wrong, but hey, I’m just a sex worker and don’t offer on-the-spot counselling.

Jerry wanted to be dominated by women say, oh, EXACTLY the current age of his mother. Apparently there were no shortage of women who were happy to dominate a man twenty or thirty years their junior, call him “son,” and give him a cookie at the end of the tryst.

“I once had a 70-year-old woman take me to a nudist camp for a week,” he told me as he lay on the massage table with a huge grin on his face. “She was insatiable.” And here I thought nudist camps were mere folklore.

There were also less fond memories such as a BDSM romp turned terrifying ordeal.

“Seriously, at one point, I thought I was going to die,” he confessed. The near-death experience had something to do with being bound a little too tightly and having a burning device light one’s genitals. (Ahem, don’t forget those hard limits and code words, kinksters.)

I give Jerry credit for getting these services for free, because to pay a sex worker to perform these types of things would be pricey.

“So how do you find these people?” I asked.

Jerry claimed that some sites were simply made for people like him such as Adultfriendfinder, Lava life, and iMatchup. The later two sites have a mainstream element but also allow people to post “intimate encounters.”