Hmmm, good question and, in all honesty, a fair question too. Why do women fake it when the real thing can be so mind bogglingly good? Well, women are complicated creatures (as you know) and there’s no one answer to this question. There could be any number of reasons, depending on the circumstances. So in the name of demystifying things for our fellas, let’s take a look at some of them.
We like to make our guys feel good
Now in my experience, this one only really applies at the beginning of a relationship! As time wears on, making your man feel like SuperSexGod becomes less important, and hanging in there until you actually do reach orgasm becomes more important. But in the early stages while you’re still stressing about having to do a shit round at his place, there’s every chance you’ll do your best screamer impression, just to make him feel good. Not exactly a bad reason, but not a very helpful one either.
It makes us feel in control
Women – liking to be in control? Never! But there is something very satisfying about being able to tip your guy over the edge simply by putting on a show. You know he’s getting close, his face is a dead give-away, now all you need to do is buck your hips a little and go the full When Harry Met Sally and he’s there. Result!
Sometimes we’re just not in the mood
Generally speaking, and I do emphasise the ‘generally’ here, most guys are up for sex any time any place. Women on the other hand are more emotional and cerebral when it comes to sex and we do need to be in the right frame of mind before getting jiggy. Sometimes it’s a definite no no and we just can’t face it and on other occasions we decide to hop on board and see what happens. We may then find ourselves getting into the swing of things or it may prove to be a bit of a lost cause. When it’s the latter, it’s sometimes easier to fake things than risk hurting your guy’s feelings and tell him it’s just not happening tonight. Cos guys have feelings too you know 😉
It may be painful
There are lots of reasons why women find sex uncomfortable, some of them are medical and again some of them are psychological. If we’re not fully charged up and raring to go then lubrication or lack of it can be a problem, which in turn leads to chafing or even pain. Nobody wants to endure painful sex as it can just put you off altogether, so rather than asking her man to stop as it’s hurting, some women may decide to fake it to bring things to a conclusion.
Lack of communication in the relationship
If there’s one thing that leads to problems in every area of the relationship, it’s lack of communication. Guys and gals we cannot over-emphasise the importance of talking things through. And that means talking everything through. Imagine the scenario. Couple have found themselves in a bit of a sex rut – same positions all the time, spark is gone, it’s all become a bit ‘quick bonk on a Saturday night because we feel we should.’ While in this sex rut, woman finds that she is not reaching orgasm as easily as she used to. Instead of talking it through with partner she decides to fake it. Then she fakes it the next time, and then the time after that and before you know it, couple are not only in a sex rut but having real problems because now how does she tell her guy she’s been faking it for ages without hurting his feelings? Great sex is ALL about communication. If something’s not right you must talk to each other. Explain why it’s not working, discuss how you might spice things up a bit. Suggest some role play, gentle BDSM, watch some porn together – whatever floats your boat. Just don’t let your sex life dwindle away to nothing because you were afraid to talk to each other. It’s too important for that.
I’ve gone a bit off topic here, I realise, but these things are important. OK, agony aunt bit over!
Lack of technique
OUCH! Sorry guys but sometimes you’re just not hitting the right buttons. OK, we know those buttons can be bloody difficult to find sometimes, but like everything else practice makes perfect. However, while you’re still discovering where everything is and how we’re wired we may decide to fake it for a while just to keep things sweet. Because let’s face it, nothing’s going to sour the start of a relationship quicker than a woman telling you you’re shit in bed and you didn’t make me cum. We’re not totally made of stone, so if we really like you and we think you might have long-term potential we’ll fake it until you get to grips with how we’re wired. So to speak!
Some/most women just don’t orgasm through intercourse
And that is just a fact. Not much we can do about it, it’s just….yes you’ve guessed it’s ‘how we’re wired’. So, in the case of a one night stand, rather than going into details with someone you’ve just met it’s much easier just to put on the show and act as though you’ve had the most amazing time in the world. The sex may well have been very nice thank you, it’s just that the man in question doesn’t know your body well enough to get straight to the sweet spot. Doesn’t mean he wouldn’t in time, but this is a one night stand – time is limited!
And there you have it folks, the fake orgasm demystified.