Depending on your background and subculture, sex on the first date can be a veritable requirement or a huge no-no, destined to destroy any hope of a second date or a long-term relationship. Â While it’s all well and good to romanticize the old-fashioned notion of courting, the reality is that the underlying framework of that method of getting to know a person is rooted in the idea that sex is a bad thing, and at least in the case of women, that participating in sex somehow depreciates their value as people.
This being the 21st century, there is no reason to attach such significance to the act of sexual congress, and while there is something to be said about sex being more exciting when there is an underlying emotional connection, that’s not to say that if you’re both into it, you shouldn’t go for it, whether it’s the first date or the third.
The problem with having sex on the first date all boils down to the diminution of women who enjoy sex. While a bloke who manages to bed his partner straight away is regarded as a Don Juan to be lauded, a woman who does the same is judged to be somehow lacking in moral values, often by the very man who engaged in the act with them.
Taking a look at the gay community, where there is no notion of “female virtue” to uphold, and no particular judgement as to how long sex should be withheld in order to assure that the relationship is sufficiently serious; and for them, sex on the first date becomes nearly an expected component, assuming that both parties are amenable to engaging. Once that’s out of the way they are free to pursue a relationship if they desire, and frankly neither looks down on the other for doing what they themselves have done. It’s inherently logical and much more fair, to say nothing of the efficiency of finding out if you are sexually compatible right away, rather than going through some lengthy and expensive buildup, only to discover that the sexual chemistry isn’t there.
Make yourself, and your future potential partners a promise. If you have sex on the first date, you will make a conscious effort to avoid falling into the traps of the double standard that is more rooted in the middle ages than this modern age.