• Home
  • /
  • Blog
  • /
  • Sex fantasies – desires and dreams

Sex fantasies – desires and dreams

Published 22/01/2021

Sex fantasies – desires and dreams – Reading time approx: 14 minutes

A classic sex fantasy for women: you are alone on the street at night. You don’t think anything of it when suddenly a wild, good-looking man jumps out of the bushes in front of you, grabs you and starts touching you. Without wanting to, your body starts to enjoy it, you give in to it, and you have wild, hot sex under the starry sky.

Does this sound stimulating to you? Even though you would never allow it in real life?

Let’s talk about sex fantasies for men and women and how they can be fulfilled.


Think about what is your most secret and hottest sex fantasy? Don’t forget, your thoughts are free. You can fantasize whatever you want.

You may also have sex fantasies about things that you never want to put into practice in real life. But because every sex wish is a sex fantasy, not every sex fantasy is a sex desire!

What exactly do we mean by sex fantasy? What most men and women secretly dream of, what is actually behind hidden fantasies and much more, you will learn about it right here!

What exactly are “sex fantasies”?

NEVER would you embark on an adventure like in the above example. Your common sense is against it, and in extreme cases countless other feelings would probably come before an excitable thought.

But in your imagination, the scene may have just felt hot. What is the reason for this?

As human beings, we all have them, this wonderful magic power called fantasy. It gives us the opportunity to create and play through scenarios without them having to take place in reality.

This in turn, not only has advantages for challenges such as planning for the future, making decisions and preparing for job interviews. But at best, we can even satisfy our longings with the help of our imagination.

“Our brain distinguishes less between thought and experience than you might think, which is also one of the great mechanisms of action in hypnosis,” says Hamburg-based sexologist and therapist Anja Drews.

When we are fully involved in a thought, we can trigger our feelings and feel better, more courageous, and therefore more aroused.

And then it’s almost as if we’ve really experienced our idea – except that we don’t have to have a bad conscience towards our partner…

What are erotic ideas good for?

Sex fantasies – desires and dreams, can be much more than just hot thoughts during lonely hours. Those who regularly and intensively deal with their sexual preferences and dreams, are demonstrably more relaxed and balanced in bed and also in everyday life!

Sex fantasies help solve fears and stresses

Those who tend to cramp up during sex and have problems letting go, or who struggle to leave their comfort zone and try something new, can often relieve such stresses by allowing their fantasies to become more conscious.

Actually, it’s perfectly logical: Sexual inhibitions and shame arise mainly from certain ideas in our minds, so we can also start there in order to reduce them.

For example, would you like to try Doggy, but don’t dare because you might be ashamed of yourself in the position?  Then let this scenario play out in your mind, with as few details as possible, and try to let the feeling get inside you.

You will quickly realize that you would actually cope with the situation much better than you initially thought!

Sex fantasies stimulate our lust

“Some couples I work with share sexual fantasies with each other, or develop common ideas and use them as a source of their desire“, says Anja Drews.

Our thoughts can help us to get in the mood and to increase our excitement, for example as an element of the prelude (Refer to the prelude article)

Some people need to imagine, i.e. they are being watched during sex or someone could burst in, or their adrenaline levels are already soaring and they are really hot. Others imagine having a wild squid in bed…

No matter what we imagine in detail, sex fantasies – desires and dreams, can make our sexual experience much more sparkling and full of enrichment.

That’s why it’s always good to leave out the dirty videos when masturbating.

This stimulates the imagination and gives a much more intense orgasm than one created by porn, for example.

Sex fantasies have a positive effect on our sex life

Sometimes sex fantasies can inspire us and give us ideas for practice, even if in reality we don’t want to live them out one-on-one.

Example rape fantasy: Of course no one wants to be raped, but some women have this secret fantasy. Often, the feeling of fear plays a major role in those affected. 

Fear has a similar effect on us as arousal, so it can intensify desire and sexual experience.

So if you have more rape fantasies or the like, you might want to try bondage, spanking, tickle torture or other forms of BDSM with your sex partner.

Of course, this has nothing to do with rape, but it triggers the feelings of extradition and power and can give them a great deal of pleasure.

Without any risks 😉

Sex fantasies and their secret meanings

Of course, our secret thoughts belong to us alone and often just serve to give us a sparkling feeling.

But if your head always comes back to the same fantasy all by itself, then perhaps there is more to it! Perhaps a secret longing?

I have provided the most common meanings of some exciting sex fantasies – desires and dreams for you!

Sex with a much younger partner

You will be seduced in your dream by a young guy who could be your son? The young intern has been raising hot thoughts for a long time?

This dream may show you that you feel constrained by the existing conventions and constraints with which you live – in these fantasies you simply shake off all obligations and concentrate solely on what you want!

(In this case, the sharp type ;))

A quickie with an stranger

You don’t know the other person, and yet you feel drawn to the attractive person in your thoughts – and have with them a hot, no-strings quickie.

Pure excitement in your imagination and in reality, perhaps a sign that your desire for adventure is too short.

Sex in unusual places

You have hot sex with your partner in the office, in a chairlift, or on the bonnet of their car? You can simply try sex in unusual places yourself.

If you live out this fantasy in your dream, reality is just too boring.

He would like to take control and live out his colourful side. But why only in a dream? Be brave and show yourself from your diverse side!

Threesome sex

You let yourself be pampered in your thoughts by super-hot, muscular guys and enjoy the crackling eroticism in this brisk threesome? These fantasies may show a hidden side to you that loves to play with the allure of power.

Moreover, this intimate event can also express the desire for more admiration.

Sex with shackles

You lie tied up on the bed and submit to your partner, who spoils you extensively? Just don’t panic at such a dream – it has nothing to do with perversion.

These fantasies have above all successful people, who otherwise bear a lot of responsibility in normal life and simply want to give it away.

In addition, bondage games can be implemented wonderfully and safely in real life, maybe you are not so far away from your secret desires 😉

Hot same sex

In your wildest fantasies, you meet a beautiful woman and then end up with her in bed? You start with a hot Nuru massage, unimaginable?

But if this fantasy creeps into your dreams, it can mean that you might just have had enough of the opposite sex and want to try something new.

Don’t panic – you don’t have to change your sexuality 😉 Dreaming is allowed after all and I wouldn’t advise curious singles to try it!

Your Top 5 Sex Fantasies

In the end, good sex is all about fulfilling your desires and exploiting the desire of the other.

But what do women and men want in bed?

Of course, we don’t all tick the same and there is certainly not THE sex fantasy that every woman dreams of at night.

Here I have picked out the 5 most common fantasies of each gender for you, surely one or the other also meets your partner to 😉

Top 5 hot fantasies among women

Number 1: Role-playing games

It’s not just men who stand on it when she wants to seduce him in a surprisingly hot nurse outfit.

The female sex can also be easily approached by uniforms or sexy disguises – we just talk about it less!

Even couples who have tried a lot in bed find new sensations in falling all over each other under a different identity.

Number 2: Oral intercourse

It’s no surprise that women like to let him lick them – and get revenge. By the way, this can be combined well with this finger guide.  

More than a quarter of women cite oral pleasure as a hot passion — less than 5 percent say they would never do such a thing.

Number 3: Domination

At the very latest since “50 Shades of Grey”, many women claim that they like power games during sex. Thirty-four percent of women want to be dominated, while only 7 percent want to play the dominatrix themselves.

It is enough if the sex becomes a little rougher or the tone a little sharper. Want to go one step further? Then I recommend to you anal sex (without pain).

By the way, this point is also quickly found in the fantasies of the men – so what are you waiting for?

Number 4: Sex in public

Sex in the changing room or in the forest is still very popular with women. The tickle of hopefully not getting caught doesn’t just make for men as a hot horny kick.

In addition, as women, we feel “protected” by our partners if we want to relax in unusual places.

Number 5: Fun with sex toys

For many households, the small toys are already in use, while for others they are considered a No-Go.

A third of women want to feel something other than a finger or their partner’s penis. For example, a dildo or vibrator; which can be wonderfully built into your sex life!

Top 5 Sex Fantasies in Men

Number 1: Sex with third parties

Eighty-five percent of the 799 men surveyed in a study on sexual fantasies by the University of Montreal in Canada said that it would appeal to them to experience a hot adventure with two women at the same time.

Feeling coveted, leaning back and enjoying is for many seemingly a very charming idea. Being cared for by two women and watching each other’s tenderness sounds like a hot experience.

Number 2: Sex in a romantic place

It is probably more considered an unspoken secret that men have wanted sex at least once in a place with a romantic atmosphere, such as sex on the beach.

Of course, this wish remains hidden by many – of course something like this is totally kitschy – but that doesn’t make it go away! 😉

Number 3: Domination Games

As mentioned above, more than half of men dream of dominating their partner.

A wish that can be fulfilled without great circumstances! (Of course, everything only happens with the consent of both sides!)

Talk to your partner about it and find out if the same longings may lie deep within her.

Number 4: Sex with a complete stranger

83% of men in relationships think about having sex with a stranger. A work colleague, fitness trainer, the sweet employee at the bakery…

Men find the idea of having sex with a strange woman appealing. Especially men who are in a relationship occasionally think about what it would be like to sleep with another.

Of course, you should always be careful not to let your imagination become so big that you really end up with a bit on the side, It’s not a good idea!

But you could satisfy this fantasy with a role-playing game, for example.

Number 5: Prostrate Games

A fantasy that is not only widespread among men: the Greek sex (anal sex).

Many men fantasize about what it would be like to receive a prostrate massage despite heterosexuality.

Well, let’s face it, if your partner shares these dreams with you, you would certainly provide sex toys for prostrate stimulation for him, wouldn’t you?

Slowly touch yourself, and don’t rush it the first time! A good start is an anilingus (ass licking).

Pay attention to how far your partner can and will go when you fulfill his imagination.

If you think about sex with the same sex, this is not a problem and quite natural. Here you will find the best gay positions for your imagination.

Sex fantasies – desires and dreams; Conclusion:

Sex fantasies – desires and dreams, are a wonderful thing. They not only give us hot thoughts when it comes to self-satisfaction, but also refresh our love life and make us happy. With the right partner, you will certainly find a way to implement it for your secret imagination! 

If you enjoyed reading our article about Sex fantasies – desires and dreams, then why not read our article about Making money from sex.

You might also be interested in:

{"email":"Email address invalid","url":"Website address invalid","required":"Required field missing"}