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Guide to Dom/Sub Relationships

Published 11/11/2022

Reading time approx: 2 minutes

Within dom/sub relationships, it’s not all about sex.

Contrary to the most divided opinions, sex is not always practiced in partnerships that have a dom/sub relationship. In some of these relationships, sex is rarely or not at all included. In fact, in many dom/sub relationships, only bondage is practiced, while others focus on humiliation or role-play.

The first step

The first step is to find a partner who will be completely involved in your way of dominating. As a dom, you have to respect the boundaries and needs of the sub.

Being the dominant partner doesn’t mean you can do whatever you want (unless the sub gives you exactly that permission to do so). Your job is to dominate, but in a way that makes the sub feel safe and in good hands.

Pay full attention to the needs of your sub

Before anything happens, everything needs to be discussed. If your sub is into humiliation but doesn’t want sexual acts, then give them exactly that and nothing else. Your Sub will tell you exactly how they want to be dominated.

Dominance is in no way to be equated with aggression

Yes, it is quite possible to be dominant without becoming aggressive. The typical image of a dom is that they are always aggressive, intrusive and demanding, but that is the be-all and end-all, it’s about getting the balance right.


Security words or signs are an absolute must, in order to guarantee the safety and physical integrity of your sub. Once they say the “Safe-word”, you have to stop immediately.

Want to know more?

If this short article has got you interested, and you want to find out more about the dom/sub world – then read our Introduction to BDSM – you never know, you may just find what you’re looking for!

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