Tips for Organic Masturbation + PETA Making XXX Porn
For all you exhibitionists out there, I just read a few interesting articles on the LA Times blog.
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Tips for Organic Masturbation (i.e. How to Have Sex With Vegetables)
Here are some of the key take aways, but feel free to read the whole article online.
Yes, people actually use cucumbers, carrots, zucchini and other long, hard veggies for insertion alone or with a partner – and I’ve even seen some of the coolest G-spot cucumbers while shopping the aisles of my local grocer.
Some guys even use melons, like honeydew and cantaloupe, to screw with. While the veggie can’t, or won’t consent, nobody is actually harmed in the making of masturbation with fruits and veggies, and the most unsafe time to use the veggie would be in the supermarket before you buy it.
If you’re going to use a vegetable for masturbation, and want to keep it safe, wash it off before you use it. Using a long veggie, one that would be inserted into the vagina should be covered with a condom for even safer sex, and this will also help avoid getting whatever was sprayed on said veggie up and in you.
I wouldn’t peel said veggie though before use. And avoid bananas, as they’re sweet and sugar can cause yeast infections up there.
The bonus about masturbating with veggies is that afterwards you can cut them up and make a satisfying meal, too.
As for the melons guys may use, I’m not sure I’d eat it afterwards, or at least I’d cut way around the hole they made for fornication, but again, it’s not unsafe to try.
Just don’t think his penis is going to pop the hole – cut a hole first, before he starts to screw with the fruit. And he can try a banana peel (sans banana) for a cool new masturbation sleeve too.
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PETA is Making XXX Porn to Promote Animal Rights. Awesome?
PETA is doing porn. Read the whole thing here, but here’s a snippet of the article below.
PETA confirmed to the Huffington Post that it’s registered PETA.xxx and is in the midst of creating content to raise awareness of veganism and how eating vegetables can do a body good. (See what I did there?)
Rajt says the site will feature photos and video of real people doing sex stuff, content that’s porny enough to get the .XXX top-level domain, but the most graphic content on the site won’t feature humans.
Sorry to disappoint all you bestiality fans. They’re talking about pics and vids from their undercover investigations that end up tricking us into watching chickens get their beaks cut off and cattle being electrocuted through their anuses.
I don’t know about you, but I’m wet just thinking about it.
The specific details have yet to be finalized but it appears PETA will be splicing bits of some of the least sexy imagery imaginable with that of women fucking themselves with giant cucumbers and possibly even some guest shots of PETA-friendly celebrities.
