Let me tell you, dear reader, about the time a one night stand (club, alcohol, cute smile, the usual) went horribly hilariously wrong. I\u2019ll keep it short and sweet. He was a hot Kiwi rugby player, he had a great body, he was pretty good with his hands and I was pretty sure things were gearing up to be pretty fucking great. That is, until he opened his mouth. Without going into the details of what came out, because really most of the comedy was in the way he said it, those few short sentences sent me into absolute hysterics of laughter. I\u2019m talking about a proper, can\u2019t catch your breath fit of the giggles that left poor hot guy somewhat confused and embarrassed and me with a pain in my side from laughing.<\/p>\n
You see, dirty talk is all well and good as long as what comes out of your mouth are your words and not the words of some 1970s porn star. If your dirty talk sounds forced or unnatural neither of you are going to buy into it and the moment could end up being ruined by screams of laughter as opposed to screams of pleasure. So in order to avoid this somewhat awkward situation here are some top tips for dirty talk:<\/p>\n
1.\tAvoid using crude words unless you know your partner is really into that kind of thing. If you\u2019re just experimenting with dirty talk, or you\u2019re having a jolly old time with someone you\u2019ve just met, then the hardcore stuff might prove to be a bit too much for the occasion. Start off gently and you can always ramp things up a bit later on.
\n2.\tRemember, it\u2019s not all about what you say, but the way you say things – as evidenced by my own hysterical laughter at poor hot Kiwi guy. Whisper things gently into your partner\u2019s ear as you\u2019re fucking them. Lower the pitch of your voice and talk from way \u2018down there\u2019. It\u2019s sometimes easier to really let go if you don\u2019t sound exactly like your usual chirpy self.
\n3.\tJust go with the flow and describe whatever dirty thoughts are coming into your head. You could talk about what you\u2019re actually doing now or what you\u2019d like to be doing. But whatever it is it\u2019s probably best to keep it relevant to the person you\u2019re with. Free flowing dirty talk about how much you\u2019d love Brad Pitt\u2019s head between your legs (or Angelina\u2019s for that matter) may not go down too well if your current partner is giving it all they have in that department.
\n4.\tDo you have vivid memories of a particularly sexy occasion you spent together, getting up to all sorts of sexy antics? Then talk about them, remind yourselves of how great that occasion was by making it real with words again.
\n5.\tRemember, we are all imaginative creatures so sometimes all you need to do is plant the seed with a few dirty words and our dirty minds will usually take us off somewhere very sexy indeed.
\n6.\tAnd finally, remember to tell your partner how things are going. If something feels fucking amazing, tell them so. If you\u2019re dripping wet and dying for them to be inside you, let them know. And if you\u2019re just about to reach the dizzy heights of an almighty orgasm, share the news. Everyone likes to feel as though they\u2019ve got the skills when it comes to pleasuring their partners and it\u2019s always nice to be appreciated.
\nHave fun!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Let me tell you, dear reader, about the time a one night stand (club, alcohol, cute smile, the usual) went horribly hilariously wrong. I\u2019ll keep it short and sweet. He was a hot Kiwi rugby player, he had a great body, he was pretty good with his hands and I was pretty sure things were […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":1528,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[7],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1527","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-camgirls","post-wrapper","thrv_wrapper"],"yoast_head":"\n