Here\u2019s the thing about sex \u2013 like anything else, if you don\u2019t put the effort in you don\u2019t get the rewards, and it\u2019s all too easy for things to become a little repetitive, dare we say it dull. But hey, modern life is fucking hectic, there\u2019s never enough time to do all the things we want to do, so don\u2019t beat yourself up if you\u2019ve fallen into a rut where the sex is just OK. It happens to the best of us. <\/p>\n
So what to do when the spark has faded, the flame is flickering and a quick bonk and a D- orgasm have become pretty much standard. It\u2019s time to use your imagination a little, be adventurous and try something new. Because after all, what\u2019s the point of an orgasm if it\u2019s not an A++ So, how about dipping your toe into the exciting and possibly even mind-blowing world of bondage?<\/p>\n
Great you say \u2013 Where do I start? And where\u2019s the best place to get a gimp mask? And do I need to build myself a red room of pain out in the garden shed?! The answer to the last two questions is no! For a beginners guide to the wonderful world of bondage, read on.<\/p>\n
TRUST
\nThe first thing to remember is that no two people will ever have the same sensibilities when it comes to BDSM. Pain for one person is absolute euphoria for another, so it\u2019s all about discovering what does it for you without actually causing any physical damage. And this leads us to pretty much the most important consideration for any bondage (or vanilla sex for that matter) experience \u2013 trust is an absolute must. So you really need to pick your partner well and make sure you feel 100% confident that this person is going to take care of you literally as well as sexually. If you\u2019re getting kinky with your own partner it should be a given that the trust is there but if you are hooking up with someone on a kink site, listen to your guts and don\u2019t go there if you have any doubts.<\/p>\n
SAFE WORDS
\nThe safe word \u2013 ah yes, that word\/phrase\/colour you\u2019re supposed to shout out if things get too much and you don\u2019t feel comfortable with where something is going. Well, here\u2019s a thought how about the word stop?! It might just be me, but frankly I prefer to keep things simple, and unless your Dom doesn\u2019t speak a word of English, he\/she is going to get the message pretty quickly. Remember too that stop\/red\/enough whatever it is really does mean stop. Obeying the wishes of the Sub\/person who is tied up is a cardinal rule in the BDSM world.<\/p>\n
So, you\u2019re all set with your safe words, you\u2019re ready to go, what happens next? It\u2019s time to decide who\u2019s going to be tied up and who is going to do the tying. Usually in a relationship there will be one person who has a preference for one or the other, but if not then you can always take it in turns and see what works for you. As for what you tie your Sub up with, you can splash out on some kinky handcuffs if you like but if not there are plenty of things in your bedroom that will work just as well \u2013 a tie, a silk scarf, a belt \u2013 anything that feels comfortable and won\u2019t cause painful welts \u2013 which aren\u2019t really part of the fun. The same goes for a blindfold. If you don\u2019t want to buy one, improvise.<\/p>\n
So, Sub securely bound and blindfolded it\u2019s time to start exploring. BDSM is all about the senses so this is where you get to play around with taste, touch and smell. If you want to start things off gently \u2013 because it\u2019s not all about pain \u2013 then why not kick off with an all over body massage with some sexy massage oil? This will help relax you both and make your Sub\u2019s body very responsive to touch. Next get the feathers out, and if you don\u2019t have feathers a small paint brush or pastry brush will work just as well. Gently trail the brush all over the body, finding those sensitive spots that really trigger a reaction in your Sub\u2019s body. This is your opportunity to get creative and really have fun exploring your partner\u2019s body in ways that perhaps you normally wouldn\u2019t.<\/p>\n
The next stage is really up to you. You can keep things simple and straightforward and head straight for oral or whatever else floats your boat, or you can experiment with spanking and the introduction of some pleasure\/pain techniques. These might include nipple clamps, clit clamps or a penis plug or probe. <\/p>\n
Whatever you do, remember this is about enjoying yourself, so if something doesn\u2019t feel right, don\u2019t ever be afraid to say so. Don\u2019t keep quiet and just endure it because you think it should feel amazing. <\/p>\n