{"id":11195,"date":"2021-03-24T10:34:49","date_gmt":"2021-03-24T09:34:49","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.cam4.com\/blog-uk\/?p=11195"},"modified":"2025-11-18T15:50:20","modified_gmt":"2025-11-18T14:50:20","slug":"starfish-position","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.cam4.com\/blog-uk\/starfish-position\/","title":{"rendered":"Starfish Position"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p><strong>Starfish Position &#8211; Reading time approx: 8 minutes<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image size-large\"><img decoding=\"async\" width=\"650\" height=\"350\" src=\"https:\/\/www.cam4.com\/blog-uk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/03\/The-Starfish-attitude.png\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-11254\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.cam4.com\/blog-uk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/03\/The-Starfish-attitude.png 650w, https:\/\/www.cam4.com\/blog-uk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/03\/The-Starfish-attitude-300x162.png 300w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 650px) 100vw, 650px\" \/><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator has-css-opacity\"\/>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>What is the starfish position?<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>The starfish position is a common situation in bed in which the woman is so passive and motionless <\/strong>(like a starfish), usually in the missionary position under the man and lets the events pass over her without active participation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>In this situation, the man will certainly understand, because there is no tenderness, words or noise from her. <strong>Apparently emotionless,<\/strong> &nbsp;she lets herself be taken like a \u2018starfish\u2019. And the man has no idea whether she likes it or not, or indeed if she is even thinking about something else \u2013 such as..\u2026 the next day in the office!<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>The starfish position is <strong>an extremely frustrating experience <\/strong>for the man. Since he feels rejected, unloved and the only one in the relationship who feels pleasure sexually.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>A<\/strong>t<strong> a glance<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li>In the \u2018starfish position\u2019 the woman simply lies there<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>The man will almost certainly feel bad due to a lack of feedback<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Talk about the situation directly to help find a solution<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p>Most of the time, the man has to take the initiative right from the start. Either way, he has to <strong>take on the more active part<\/strong> and always lead throughout the sex act. While his partner gives him the impression that she is happy when it is over.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>He feels like the rambling buck during starfish sex, which is allowed to work on it. She tolerates the whole thing more.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>In most cases, this behavior can be very hurtful for the man, and if their behavior does not change, he will most likely not make the effort over time and there will be an increasing stretched slack between the sheets \u2013 usually with devastating consequences for the relationship.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image size-large\"><img decoding=\"async\" width=\"601\" height=\"338\" src=\"https:\/\/www.cam4.com\/blog-uk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/03\/image-14.png\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-11197\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.cam4.com\/blog-uk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/03\/image-14.png 601w, https:\/\/www.cam4.com\/blog-uk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/03\/image-14-300x169.png 300w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 601px) 100vw, 601px\" \/><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>How does the starfish position work?<\/strong><strong><\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>To begin with, the woman lies on her back with her legs spread wide open. The arms can be stretched out to, or keep them at the side (whichever feels most comfortable).<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Sometimes it makes sense to use this sex position<\/strong>, e.g. if you\u2019ve had a long day and are completely exhausted.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>The woman can \u2018almost\u2019 completely relax, leaving the man to do all the work. But you can also use this position very slowly. With so-called slow sex you have little physical exertion, and yet a more deeply sensual experience.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>However, it is important to note that because you also have &#8220;normal&#8221; sex, in some situations the woman may be too \u2018lazy\u2019 to <a href=\"https:\/\/www.collinsdictionary.com\/dictionary\/english\/sexual-climax\">climax<\/a> (due to the lack of reciprocated interaction), and therefore you may need to add to the action to achieve the desired result!<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>What can you do? Is your girlfriend a starfish?<\/strong><strong><\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>No man in the world expects highly acrobatic exercises in bed, nor does he need help to be dragged into bed every time, in fact he just wants to get the feeling from the woman that she is also<strong> mentally involved in sex<\/strong> and enjoys it. Quite often, small gestures can help in this situation \u2013 most of which can have a different effect.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>As a result, the woman can always show her partner, for example by stroking his body. Whilst she is tenderly facing him (and enjoys touching him). Or she can include her partner&#8217;s body, e.g. with her legs \u2013 and express that she<strong> enjoys the closeness to him.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>These are just small measures that she can do to help well in such a situation, particularly where there is no \u2018position feeling\u2019 coming from the man. In addition, it is important for the couple to talk regularly about their mutual needs and their sex life in general.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Where there is a good atmosphere, both are able to tell each other what they like, what they agree on, and above all \u2013 <strong>what should not take place in bed at all.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator has-css-opacity\"\/>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>Tips for him<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-image\">\n<figure class=\"aligncenter size-large\"><img decoding=\"async\" width=\"203\" height=\"203\" src=\"https:\/\/www.cam4.com\/blog-uk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/03\/image-15.png\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-11198\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.cam4.com\/blog-uk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/03\/image-15.png 203w, https:\/\/www.cam4.com\/blog-uk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/03\/image-15-150x150.png 150w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 203px) 100vw, 203px\" \/><\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n<p>HE should try to create a trusting atmosphere of conversation, to allow the woman to speak open and freely about her wishes. Maybe she would like to try other types of sex, either a quickie in the kitchen, or sex in the morning, or maybe she would like to live out a fantasy through role-play <a href=\"https:\/\/www.cam4.com\/blog-uk\/sex-games-hot-alternatives\/\">sex games<\/a>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>In some cases, the woman will not always be aware of how her behaviour affects her partner. Or she may have completely different wishes in bed and therefore she&#8217;s less likely to get in the mood.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Often she may find \u2018common\u2019 sex slightly boring, <strong>but does not dare <\/strong>to freely express her wishes and\/or <a href=\"https:\/\/www.cam4.com\/blog-uk\/sex-fantasies-desires-and-dreams\/\">sex fantasies<\/a>. &nbsp;She may not even know how much the man misses being stroked or pleasured.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>If you are able to <strong>clearly identify <\/strong>your own needs without accusing your partner, then it won\u2019t be that difficult to change the situation.\u00a0 After all, it is very likely that the man will be delighted if he knows how to get his <a href=\"https:\/\/www.cam4.com\/female\/wife\/\">wife<\/a> \u2018back on the road\u2019!<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Sometimes, the problem can come from the fact that the woman doesn\u2019t reach orgasm. The best way to achieve this is by satisfying her orally, or by using the&nbsp;finger properly. The same can also be said about the woman taking the initiative <strong>from time to time<\/strong>. Instead of just being a \u2018starfish\u2019 under the man.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>All of these techniques can be enough for the man to show that he is not always the only one who feels the pleasure in bed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>Ways out of the starfish trap for him and her<\/strong><strong><\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>If the woman has the opportunity to live out her own wishes in bed, it is more likely that her behaviour will become more active, and therefore the starfish position is less likely to be an issue.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Of course the man should also<strong> talk about his fantasies, <\/strong>and freely say what he wants. Often this is not always that clear to the woman. This is because they are used to the man being the more active part. And therefore they will likely just adapt accordingly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>If you find it hard to talk about your preferences, you can of course try <a href=\"https:\/\/www.cam4.com\/blog-uk\/dirty-talk\/\">Dirty Talk<\/a>. The alternative when you are on the go, is to try erotic sayings for Whatsapp.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Men are not only focused on one part of the body, because they also love to be stroked across various parts of the body. <strong>Nothing will make the man more happy, <\/strong>than if she also takes the initiative.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>For this, she doesn\u2019t have to think up a whole raft of erotic choreography. But again it\u2019s the small gestures which are enough, for the man to become very receptive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>Guaranteed no boredom<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>The starfish position in bed doesn\u2019t have to be some \u2018dead-end\u2019 route in the sexual stakes. Just remember that <strong>Small changes<\/strong> &nbsp;and\/or gestures are usually enough to wipe out the slack spells you are having in the bedroom.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>In most of these cases, it is often due to a <strong>lack of communication between the two partners.<\/strong> Both are reluctant to raise the issue, and neither knows how the other is feeling!<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>All it needs is for one to start talking appreciatively about the needs of both. It often turns out that both desires are not that far apart. The alternative to starfish position is the smaller but sensual sex acts between the sheets. Often these small changes are sufficient, so that the man experiences the feeling of being coveted and also the woman finds <strong>more pleasure in sex.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator has-css-opacity\"\/>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>Tips for you<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-image\">\n<figure class=\"aligncenter size-large\"><img decoding=\"async\" width=\"236\" height=\"236\" src=\"https:\/\/www.cam4.com\/blog-uk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/03\/image-16.png\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-11199\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.cam4.com\/blog-uk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/03\/image-16.png 236w, https:\/\/www.cam4.com\/blog-uk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/03\/image-16-150x150.png 150w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 236px) 100vw, 236px\" \/><\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n<p>In most circumstances, it is up to YOU to tell the man what (and where) you like (it) most. Unfortunately, men can&#8217;t guess what\u2019s going on in the women&#8217;s world. And they are usually very grateful if they do know. For example, the woman only gets going after an extensive <a href=\"https:\/\/www.cam4.com\/blog-uk\/foreplay-the-prelude\/\">prelude<\/a>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Again, she also needs to show her partner (through small gestures) that she likes to be sensual and touch him. Give something new a try with him \u2013 e.g. <strong><a href=\"https:\/\/www.cam4.com\/blog-uk\/greek-sex\/\">Greek sex<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>The man is also happy to be touched sensually and stroked. And of course they also like to be seduced from time to time. The woman, on the other hand, should state clearly (or show the man) what she likes!<\/p>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator has-css-opacity\"\/>\n\n\n\n<p>Bonus Tip: No matter how you set yourself up, if you give him a<strong> really good blowjob (<a href=\"https:\/\/www.cam4.com\/blog-uk\/13-tips-for-the-perfect-blowjob\/\">instructions here<\/a>),<\/strong> &nbsp;he will love you! In fact, it is always a good idea to tell him up front that <strong>it is perfectly fine <\/strong>to have no desire, and it is self-evident to always respect the limits of the other. Nothing kills the lust faster than sex-acts that you are not both comfortable with.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Therefore, the starfish position is only a phenomenon that shows there is a point in the relationship that needs to be worked on!<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>If you get it right, the woman will probably transform from a passive starfish <strong>into a thoroughly fiery lover.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator has-css-opacity\"\/>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Did you enjoy reading about the Starfish Position? If so, then why not check out our blog about<a href=\"https:\/\/www.cam4.com\/blog-uk\/nuru-massage-erotic-experience\/\"> Nuru Massage &#8211; Erotic Experience<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Starfish Position &#8211; Reading time approx: 8 minutes What is the starfish position? The starfish position is a common situation in bed in which the woman is so passive and motionless (like a starfish), usually in the missionary position under the man and lets the events pass over her without active participation. In this situation, [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":17,"featured_media":11254,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[21,85],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-11195","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-blog","category-global-sex","post-wrapper","thrv_wrapper"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.4 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Starfish Position - Cam4 UK&#039;s latest live cams &amp; webcam modelling news<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Starfish Position - this is a common situation in bed in which the woman is so passive and motionless (like a starfish), usually in the missionary position.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.cam4.com\/blog-uk\/starfish-position\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Starfish Position - Cam4 UK&#039;s latest live cams &amp; webcam modelling news\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Starfish Position - this is a common situation in bed in which the woman is so passive and motionless (like a starfish), usually in the missionary position.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.cam4.com\/blog-uk\/starfish-position\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Cam4 UK&#039;s latest live cams &amp; webcam modelling news\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2021-03-24T09:34:49+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2025-11-18T14:50:20+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/www.cam4.com\/blog-uk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/03\/The-Starfish-attitude.png\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"650\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"350\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/png\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"cam4_UK\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"cam4_UK\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"9 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\\\/\\\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.cam4.com\\\/blog-uk\\\/starfish-position\\\/#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.cam4.com\\\/blog-uk\\\/starfish-position\\\/\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"cam4_UK\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.cam4.com\\\/blog-uk\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/b48bed21da242635e73fdc16a9d92ab7\"},\"headline\":\"Starfish Position\",\"datePublished\":\"2021-03-24T09:34:49+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2025-11-18T14:50:20+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.cam4.com\\\/blog-uk\\\/starfish-position\\\/\"},\"wordCount\":1511,\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.cam4.com\\\/blog-uk\\\/starfish-position\\\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.cam4.com\\\/blog-uk\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2021\\\/03\\\/The-Starfish-attitude.png\",\"articleSection\":[\"Blog\",\"Global Sex\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.cam4.com\\\/blog-uk\\\/starfish-position\\\/\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.cam4.com\\\/blog-uk\\\/starfish-position\\\/\",\"name\":\"Starfish Position - Cam4 UK&#039;s latest live cams &amp; 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