Beginner’s Guide To Bondage
B – stands for Bondage
D – stands for Discipline *or* Dominance
S – stands for Submission *or* Sadism
M – stands for Masochism
GROUND RULES
When dealing with Bondage play it is essential to have some basic ground rules. The couple should sit down in a non-sexual situation and discuss where their comfort zone is. Perhaps go through a checklist to ensure that you are both on the same page.
*Discuss how you are willing to be tied (i.e. only arms, no legs); maybe you want to pretend to be tied initially (“inhibited movement play”) to see if you like to be restricted.
*Discuss what you are willing to have done in your impaired position – i.e. you can kiss me, touch me, but please let me free to have sex.
*Discuss what sensations you absolutely hate or make you uncomfortable – i.e. don’t want to have sex toys used on me, don’t want my penis tied with anything.
*Discuss what would really make you uncomfortable in general – i.e. don’t leave the room while I am tied.
SAFETY
Bondage communities have two safety terms they use: SSC (safe, sane and consensual) and RACK (risk aware consensual kink). These terms mean that you should always have CONSENSUAL play with your partner, you should NEVER BE IMPAIRED and you should be safe with your play.
In order to be safe, you should agree upon a safe word to use in the event that one of you feels uncomfortable. This word should be something unusual that you wouldn’t say otherwise – like “groundhog.”
Getting the “rules” of play established not only makes you more at ease that nothing bad will happen, but it gets you more excited about what is going to happen while you play.
