Pride in Grindr: A Sex-Positive, Global Cyber Space for Gay Men
June is Gay Pride Month. What better time to celebrate Grindr, a sex-positive, global cyber space—and meeting place—for gay men. Yup, you read right. That’s Grindr, a free geosocial networkingapplication that enables gay men to locate other gay men within close proximity. Launched in March of 2009, Grindr has quickly become a worldwide hit.
How extraordinary that wherever a gay man lives or travels, he can instantly find other gay men. He need never feel alone, that he is the “only one.” He’s not forced to search out the often marginalized gay ghettos that continue to offer much needed comradarie and support.
The Grindr screen display is a riotous grid of various photos of men—smiling, open faces, as well as lots of body shots–arranged from nearest to farthest away. Tap on a picture and the user receives a brief profile, including the precise distance from that person provided in increments of feet or miles. There are options to chat, send pictures and share location.
There is an immediacy and intimacy this app offers that distinguishes it from internet sites providing gay men with access to one another. A few taps and you’ve got a whole group of guys who are hanging out in both your cyber and actual neighborhood.
A patient of mine took a trip to a part of the country not known to be particularly gay friendly. As he and his partner drove through the state, they periodically checked Grindr to see who was out there. Not to make contact, but just to know that even in this relatively unpopulated, rural location, they were not the only two gay men around. “Can you believe it?” he asks. There was a gay man out in the middle of what seemed like nowhere to this urban dweller! He reported this to me with joyous relief: the world seemed a little less scary, he felt a little less isolated.
Yes, Grindr is about sex. Homosexuality is shadowed by furtiveness and fear. By necessity, most gay men have to hide their desire for romance and sex. Without the possibility of open courtship and/or marriagethere isn’t any sanctioned possibility for satisfying this fundamental human need. Grindr allows men to find other men who want to have sex. Hopefully, safe sex. But this is no back room, no dark alley—it’s “hey, this is me, this is who I am, and this is what I want.” From my point of view, it would be lovely if we could all feel that free, that unfettered, even for a moment. Read More
